


A Little Bitter Hearted Is All...

by Rinniebee



Series: The seasons are four perfect movements in harmony [2]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 18:20:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8763937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinniebee/pseuds/Rinniebee
Summary: AU. Takes place a little more than four years before 'A Cascade of Snowflakes' when Ricci is about 7-8 months old. Logan comes to Philly to see his daughter only to learn she's referring to Jess as her father. This is the conversation between Rory and Logan that follows that revelation.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> I decided to write this small ficlet since I couldn't get it out of my head. I think it gives some nice background information to Rory/Logan and Rory/Jess and the way their unconventional family comes about in the end. Anyone whose read 'A Cascade of Snowflakes' knows Logan's concerns wind up being not too much of a big deal in the future.

**A LITTLE BITTER _HEARTED_ IS ALL . . .**

**MARCH 9** ** TH ** **2012**

“So, when were you going to tell me that my daughter calls another man ‘Dada’?”

Rory sighed, feeling the oncoming of a headache. “Today, Logan. I didn’t want to tell you over Skype or a Facetime, it just seemed wrong. This is something you tell someone in person.”

“And yet, you didn’t tell me—I witnessed it.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” She fiddled with the napkin in her lap, unsure of what else there was to say.

Logan kept his eyes trained on her, she could feel his hot gaze, but he didn’t say anything for a minute. Finally, he sighed, sat back on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like it.”

“What am I supposed to do, Logan? She sees him, she says ‘Dada’. I’ve pulled out pictures of you even called you on Facetime more than once to get that word aligned to your face in her brain. I want her to look at you and think that you’re her father, but she just doesn't see you enough. You have to give it time.”

Somewhere in the middle of her explanation, Logan shot up from the couch and started pacing her small living room.

“Are you sleeping with him?”

Rory dropped the napkin and crossed her arms over her chest, glaring up at him with narrowed eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Are you sleeping with him, Ace?”

“No, I’m not sleeping with Jess, Logan. He’s my _best friend._ And, even if I were sleeping with him, what business would it be of yours? You’re married, remember?”

Logan scoffed, his hands flying up in the air. “I know I’m married, Rory, thank you!”

“Well, seems to me like you needed a reminder!” She didn’t mean to raise her voice to match his, but it happened anyway. “You don’t get to come here and dictate the way I raise my daughter.”

“ _Our_ daughter!”

Rory rolled her eyes. “Oh, please!”

“No!” Logan snapped, pointing at her in accusation. “You don’t get to do that! You don’t to sneer at me like that. I offered you everything. I promised to leave Odette, to move back to the U.S so that you and I could raise Ricci together, but you turned me down! You said you didn’t want to ruin my life and that you couldn’t do that to me. Well, you wouldn’t have made me do anything, Rory! I wanted to be with you and Ricci and you wouldn’t let me!”

“I don’t need a hand out, Logan!”

“But you’d take one from Jess, right? Jess offers you a job in Philly and you pack up and move. I ask you to marry me and you say no—twice!”

“I wasn't even twenty-two when you asked the first time! And I wasn’t the one who walked away, remember?!”

Logan paced, arms swinging and chest heaving. She could see that one vein popping in his neck, the same way it had that night at the bar when they’d fought over Jess for the very first time. God, if she could only go back in time.

“You have no idea how much that rejection _hurt_ , Rory.”

“Probably no where near as bad as you refusing to leave Odette until I told you I was pregnant.”

Their voices were soft now, just barely audible to Rory’s own ears. She wondered if this moment was even real. It was hardly the first time they’d fought after Ricci’s birth, but it was the first time they’d fought to injure.

“I’m sorry, Ace… I should’ve left her the moment you came back into my life, I just… I really do love her.”

Rory shrugged. “I know.” Once upon a time that admission may have stung, but the hole in her heart left behind by Logan Huntzberger had scabbed over somewhere during their affair, she just hadn’t been strong enough to walk away back then.

“So, what do we do about Ricci and Jess? I really, really don’t like it, Ace. I can admit that I’m jealous of him if that’s what you need to hear, okay? I’ve been jealous of him the moment I laid my eyes on him. In one evening he ruined our relationship, and now my own kid is choosing him over me? It stings—no, it more than stings, Rory. I’m not one for poetics so I’m not going to try, but you have to know that it hurts. I'm becoming a little bitter hearted here is all...”

“I do know that and I'm sorry that it turned out this way. This was never my intention. Jess was never meant to replace you and he won't,” she reassured him, finally uncrossing her arms from her chest and letting them drop to her sides. “Logan, come here. Sit, please.”

Logan moved around around the coffee table to take a seat beside her, his eyes cast toward the floor.

“Hey, come on… Look at me, please.” Rory shifted in her own spot and turned to face him, giving him a little smile when brown met blue. “Ricci is your daughter and Jess being in her life isn’t going to change that. Kids are so pure, Logan, especially our girl. Do you really think her heart isn’t big enough for the both of you?”

“Yours isn’t.”

“Ricci isn’t me,” she said with a one shoulder shrug. “Her relationship with you is going to be _hers,_ not mine. I won’t let her be influenced by my thoughts or feelings. I want Ricci to know you and love you, and she’s our baby, and your opinion will always matter here.”

“And what if I asked Jess to leave.”

Rory swallowed hard and fought to keep calm against the jolt of panic that seized her heart. “That would be your right, I guess. Jess wouldn’t fight against it. I think he’s just been waiting for you to say something.”

“It’s not him I’m worried about.”

“What do you mean?” Rory asked, frowning. “Ricci will adjust. I mean, she’ll be devastated at first, but she’s really young right now so—”

Logan shook his head. “No, Ace. I was talking about you. I’m worried about what you’ll do if I ask Jess to leave.”

Rory blinked. “Why? I’ll be fine. I mean I’ll lose a second income and a babysitter, but I could ask for a raise and put Ricci in daycare or ask my grandmother for money to hire a nanny…”

“Oh Rory, come on. Stop pretending, okay? This is me you’re talking to. You don’t take handouts, and while you’re not above asking your grandmother for help, I know you’d rather not do it. You won’t even take my money and Ricci’s actually my kid. Yet, somehow, you’ve let Jess give you the world. You have straight up refused to be away from your mother for longer than a week the entire time I’ve known you but you just up and moved to Philly to be with Jess. I asked you to go to California with me and sure, you thought it over, but the answer was still no. Jess means more to you than you’re willing to admit.”

“That’s not fair, Logan. Jess offered me a job. I was pregnant and homeless! I needed help. He was a contact!”

“And do you live with all your work contacts?”

Rory bit her bottom lip. “I couldn’t afford rent on my own on the Truncheon salary, so he offered to be my roommate. I couldn’t trust living with a stranger and Jess is family.”

“That man is not family. He may be your step-cousin or whatever, but you can’t look me in the eye and tell me that you think of him that way.”

“Well, no, but—“

“That’s what I thought.”

Rory sighed in defeat, unwilling to push this subject any further. It was a tired conversation. “Logan, what do want from me? Do you want me to push Jess out of Ricci’s life?”

“No, Rory, I don’t.”

“You don’t?” Rory repeated, head tilted to the side. “But I thought you—“

“Rory,” Logan cut her off again; that was really starting to get annoying, “I want Ricci to be happy. I’m not blind, I see how happy he makes her. He takes good care of her. She thinks he’s her father, for god’s sake! Do I like it? No, not at all, but I know I can’t be here all of the time—work won’t allow it, Huntzberger rules won’t allow it, and deep down you know that you won’t allow it, either. I love Ricci, and I love you. I know you don’t want me to say that anymore and I don’t have a right to. I know I screwed up everything with us, but I love you, Ace. I really do. And… more than anything I just want you to be happy. Are you happy?”

She didn’t need to think about it. “Yes, Logan. I’m happy.”

“Good.” He smiled, tender and soft, and she almost remembered why she’d latched onto him so hard. “Now, can you promise me that Ricci will call me her Daddy eventually?”

“I promise,” Rory nodded. “I’ll never stop trying to analogue that word to your face in her brain, I swear.”

“Thank you. Think you could text Jess and tell him it’s safe to bring Ricci back, now? I’d like to spend the next few hours I have here with her if that’s okay with you.”

Rory smiled, her heart feeling featherlight. “That’s definitely okay with me.”


End file.
